


The Blame Game

by SoldierVAI224



Category: Killer7
Genre: I tagged Kevin but there's only one line mentioning him, Implied Relationships, Joke Fic, M/M, Spanish curse words, because it was in character for them, con makes the pog face but my pride didn't let me write that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26802055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoldierVAI224/pseuds/SoldierVAI224
Summary: Dan and Coyote argue again, and everyone is forced to watch.
Relationships: Coyote Smith/Dan Smith
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10
Collections: Challenging Myself to Write More





	The Blame Game

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't speak Spanish, but included some because it fit with canon. There's a joke at Dan's expense about it, but I hope no one gets offended by anything here.

“Oh, you gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.” His voice boomed, filling the room over the sound of TV static. “My fault!?” He stood between the white screen and the couch, yelling directly in Dan’s face. The others in the room tried to ignore what was currently happening. “You’re gonna try and blame this shit on me?” Dan sneered.

“I’m just calling it like it is, Coyote. We’d be better off without you and your grubby little hands!” He yelled back, not moving away at all. Kaede rolled her eyes, wishing she were anywhere else right about now.

“Ohh, yeah. They’ll just let you shoot the locks, huh?” Coyote retorted sarcastically. “And I’m telling you, I didn’t do shit! You’re just stupid- we never ought to leave you in charge of cleaning up our tracks-”

“Yeah?? Well I can’t clean your shit if you don’t tell me, what do I look like to you? A babysitter?”

“I wouldn’t trust you with my fucking cactus! Get that shit outta here!” Con, sitting on the couch next to Kaede, grinned and tried not to laugh.

“Hey, Fuck You!” Dan nudged his shoulder with the palm of his hand. “I know you’re just mad at the fact that I got more kills than you even though I was on cleaning duty.” Coyote sucked his teeth, clearly boiling with anger, but opted to instead cross his arms.

“¡Maldita sea la madre que te parió!” The exclamation made Mask stand straight from where he had been leaning on the wall.

“Come on, guys.” He intercepted as he took the few steps necessary to get to them. “I think that’s enough for now.” His attention turned to Coyote. “And watch what you’re teaching Con, man.” This earned a frown from the shorter man.

“Con’s not dumb enough to repeat things if he doesn’t know what they mean. Right, buddy?” He looked down at the kid in question.

“I wasn’t listening~” He answered before pursing his lips as though he were whistling, and raising his hands behind his head in a laid-back manner. Coyote smiled before Dan opened his mouth again.

“Fine, whatever. We all know I was winning anyway, so there’s no need to argue.” Predictably, Coyote returned his full attention to the shitty white man in front of him.

“What did you say, payaso? Cuz it sounded like you wanted me to beat you.”

“Maybe I want you to try,《calientapollas.》” He retorted. Mask and Coyote both blinked at him with dumbfounded expressions. Con’s hand flew to his face so they wouldn’t see his mouth open in amusement. After a moment, Coyote howled in laughter, which snapped Mask from his surprise.

“Where did you learn that?” His fists moved to his hips. Despite the relatively stern expression gleaned from his eyes, there was a hint of amusement in his voice as well. Before Dan could answer, Coyote’s hand slammed down on his shoulder.

“Your pronunciation is fuckin’ terrible, man!” He managed as he tried to catch his breath from laughing so hard. “Never say that shit again.”

“What? Come on, it can’t have been that bad.” Dan looked to Mask for confirmation, but he refused to meet his gaze. “Hey-! Come on..” Coyote shook his head, unable to say any more. Kaede sighed, rubbing her temple with her middle finger.

“Hey, I’ve got a headache so if you two are just going to keep messing around, could you do it outside?” Dan scrunched his face at her request.

“What, you trying to get us in trouble or something? If we leave before Garcian’s back, we’ll both be in the dog house.”

“Oh, perfect, I don’t think you two have boned there yet.” She retorted instantly. Coyote and Dan both looked at her, offended, as Mask put his head in his hands.

“What’re you trying to say, huh?” Dan scoffed. At the same time, Coyote also started ranting; “What makes you think I wanna fuck him?” Kaede rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion and slammed her head back onto the couch.

\----------

The door opened as Garcian carefully stepped into the room. Closing it behind him, he observed the scene. Kaede was trying to ascend from the mortal plane as Dan and Coyote bickered in front of the TV, and Con was sitting on Mask, talking quietly about something. Kevin, who had been squatting quietly in the corner of the room, stood to nod at Garcian. He nodded back and stepped toward the group before clearing his throat.

“Hey.” His voice raised enough to get everyone’s attention without yelling. “This isn’t the time, so save it.” The two squabblers quieted down, but not without giving each other a look. Kaede sat up straighter, visibly relieved, and Garcian walked to the TV to fiddle with the dials. Before long, the picture changed from static to a video feed of a building. “We’ve got another job.”

**Author's Note:**

> Been replaying Killer7 again and I just love all these characters. Goes to show what you can do with vague characterization. Don't know who'd be looking for Killer7 fics these days, but if you read this then I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
